You read any articles about the top 10 mistakes parents make, it won’t take you long to realize a pattern. A very similar topic that shows up on almost every list (if not EVERY list) is comparing children. You go to a pediatrician or anyone else that works with children and one of the most used phrases is: every child is different. So why do we insist on comparing children? This is such a dangerous habit to get into.
That can especially be said for parents of kids with special needs. I was recently at the park with my son, watching a little girl who is the same age run around the park and climb on all the equipment with her mom following behind. It is so unbelievably hard not to look at that and get sad. But I have to snap myself back into reality. Why should I be sad? My son makes me beyond proud everyday. I don’t know that little girl’s story, but I know my son’s and I know how hard he has worked to get to where he is and for that I am so proud and that is what I should focus on. Not comparing my son to others is something I have to work to do. It just comes so naturally I have to make the conscious effort not to do it.
Expecting the best from your child is absolutely the right thing to do. But do it because you want to see them succeed, not because the neighbor kid down the street con do it. Something I have learned through many unmet goals is to set reasonable expectations and celebrate the little things.